


Needs

by dragonspell



Category: Southland
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-18
Updated: 2013-03-18
Packaged: 2017-12-05 16:37:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/725481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragonspell/pseuds/dragonspell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A coda to the John and Ben reunion scene in 5.05 Off-Duty.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Needs

John had known what Ben had wanted when he’d slipped onto the barstool next to John. He’d known the moment that he’d met the kid’s eyes across the bar. He’d returned Ben’s nod, acknowledging his existence, and it hadn’t taken Ben long to move down the bar, joining John in his lonely little corner and looking like a kid who wanted you to ask him about the straight As on his report card. An old familiar ache had socked John right in the jaw because Ben wanted what he had always wanted and it wasn’t something that John could ever be. He could try but he’d fail, just like he’d done before. John couldn’t be that for Ben, couldn’t be that for anybody. Hell, John thought, he wasn’t even a good role model. 

Ben had seen two fathers and God knew how many others crash and burn on him, dive bombing into the mud and the muck because they weren’t all that great at keeping their nose up and on the level. John consoled himself with the thought that at least he hadn’t failed quite as bad as the kid’s father. He’d have to be a real goddamned failure at life to be that bad.

Ben’s father had fucked Ben up, for sure—in large ways, yeah, but in little, nearly unnoticeable ways, too. The kid had a thing for playing the protector, for rescuing the helpless and standing up for what he thought was right—holding the front line on the moral code as it were. He had a thing for the attention that came with it, too. It was all well and good unless you took it too far. John wanted to reach out and grab the kid, to warn him, but he didn’t. He looked the other way. It was something that a man had to figure out for himself, not something that could be taught. No amount of stories or words of advice were going to let that lesson sink in until the kid was up to his chest in shit and trying to pull himself out. John didn’t know much, but he knew that at least.

When Ben had come strolling up to him, beer in hand and smile on his face, John had known what the kid had wanted. He’d almost been willing to give it to him, too—would have except that Ben wanted it so damn bad, he’d bite if you even tried. He wanted it so much he couldn’t handle it. So hungry for that attention, and so used to getting fed nothing but disappointment, he’d tear your goddamned hand off if you offered it to him. Ben was a smoking powder keg of need, ready to take the whole damn city with him when he finally blew.

He was fucked: the product of a shitty world and an even shittier father. The kid was flying high, not realizing that he was barely off the ground.

And John…

John bit, too.


End file.
